Your Review Sucks: We Cheer (1UP)

You know, my opinion of the reviewing world sure is in a wacky state of flux. See, I actually try to be pretty lenient on reviewers. Generally I feel the problem isn’t them half-assing it or not trying their best or not being honest, but just the fact that people with very similar tastes tend to get hired causing the same kinds of games to get good scores and the same kinds to get bad scores. It’s not because they’re horrible idiots who don’t take their job seriously, it’s that they’ve been assigned games that don’t appeal to them and no one else in the office would be good at handling them either. A problem, to be sure, but one that isn’t 100% the fault of the reviewer.

…then shit like 1UP’s review of We Cheer happens. Yup, We Cheer FINALLY has 4 reviews to it’s name so it finally has a…horribly low Metacritic score.

Luckily for us, SOME people “get it”. The lesser known Gamezone scores it a 7.2/10. Not too bad. A dry review, but a solid one.

…but 1UP.com…my GOD…

They gave it an F and the score was interpreted as a 0/100 at Metacritic. The tiny barely 4 paragraph review comes down to “I spent 4 hours with this and couldn’t beat a single song”. Though short on content, it still managed to have a major fuck up. Namely the reviewer spends the main part of the review bitching about how the tutorial is not geared twords single Wiimote users and how confusing it is playing the main mode with one Wiimote. This brings us to a major error in the review as the big complaint here is that you can’t tell which arrows your supposed to do with your one Wiimote. Thing is, ONLY ONE SET OF ARROWS APPEARS IN SINGLE WIIMOTE MODE! ONE SET!

http://www.1up.com/do/reviewPage?cId=3171085&p=44

I could go on about this, but the video tells all. The reviewer offered $10 to anyone that could beat a single song in We Cheer. Some guy named Jason pulled it off…and quite well too despite the poor playing space and the damn mic in his way.

http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/22423

SO WHY DIDN’T HE DO THE DAMN REVIEW! Jason did in one try what the dipshit reviewer couldn’t pull off in four hours?! WHY IS JASON NOT THE REVIEWER!

Alright, Racey, remember that list of shit you hate hearing? This is the time where it all applies. This isn’t true all the time, but it seems it’s true for this idiot.

Shame there’s no PROPER response option. People SEEM to just be using the User Reviews option to respond, but I’ll do it proper. I’ll be posting my video review in there. Oh yes, we’re almost back in action. I just need a spare camera to record me playing (I feel I can’t do the review justice without it).

I swear, I will make the world know the truth: We Cheer is awesome.

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