Wii 2 3D HD Turbo coming in April?

It’s no secret that the Nintendo Wii is an aging console. With low-tech 480p visuals, the only thing that allowed the Wii to compete with high-definition giants was it’s motion control. Certainly it had nothing to do with a lower price point and greater variety of games that appeal to a wider audience, not to mention being the only console with a decent line up of kid-friendly E-rated titles! However the Wii now faces stiff competition with the release of the already abandoned Playstation Move and Microsoft’s borderline worthless Kinect, both delivering motion control in HD! So is Nintendo going to just let the Wii sit there and take a beating?

GEL, the host of the popular YouTube show GameBabble says that a Wii 2 HD is “very likely” in April of this year and “totally isn’t being sarcastic”!

“The games will likely run on High Definition Navy-grade Laser Tape to prevent piracy. We can expect 100% backwards compatibility with all previous Nintendo consoles including the VirtualBoy.”

He continued, “The console will recreate the 3D effect of the VirtualBoy by shitting rainbows directly into your eyes!“.

GEL, a veteran gamer for over 25 years, seemed confident in his estimate of an April release date. “Nintendo will release the console immediately after the 3DS, forcing gamers to decide which new Nintendo system to buy and splitting the company’s attention between the launch of both of their systems. This is a terrific strategy!”

“Also, it will totally be called the Wii 2 HD because Nintendo is known for adding numbers and letters on the end of their console names and not just coming up with completely new ones! We all remember the Nintendo Wi, right? That’s exactly how their naming scheme works!”



Okay, enough of the blatant sarcasm as this is just getting ridiculous. The point I am making here is that the sheer amount of articles that ultimately boil down to “some guy thinks a Wii 2 might maybe happen this year” is just getting ridiculous. Oh sure, if someone claims to have leaked specs of an upcoming console that makes for a good rumor post. However, when it’s just “some guy” saying what they think, is it really news worthy? I don’t care who he is or what he does. If he isn’t an actual Nintendo employee, what’s the point?

Look, we all think a new Nintendo console would be great. We’re used to a 5-year life cycle on game consoles. Both Microsoft and Sony have claimed they’re aiming for a 10-year cycle this time around. Due to the rather impressive power of their current consoles coupled with the current recession, that seems likely. It really is hard to imagine games looking too much better than they already do. The Wii, however, becomes outdated the moment you hook it up to an HD TV.

However, we knew this going in. Nintendo openly stated that the Wii wouldn’t be much more powerful than the Gamecube and used Motion Control as it’s main selling point. So, wouldn’t the release of Microsoft and Sony’s motion controllers be a threat? No.

While the Move is a phenomenal controller, the fact is that Sony has practically abandoned it. We may see some Move support tacked on to games or even a few cool PSN titles for it, but Move releases will be few and far between. On the other end of the spectrum, the Kinect has sold well but it’s actual functionality as a game controller seems limited.

While one could argue that both provide a Wii-like experience in HD, the reality is that this isn’t what Wii owners want. Ultimately, motion control was just a marketing tool for Nintendo. The system’s real success comes from it’s low price point and the fact that it targets a completely different audience from the 360 and PS3. What this means is that the Move and Kinect are not really competition for the Wii.

Now, does this mean a Wii HD isn’t on the horizon? Well aside from the fact that it probably won’t be named “Wii HD”, no. Nintendo could well announce a new console this year at E3. But what is the point in speculating about it when you have nothing to speculate on! A new Nintendo console is entirely theoretical! You could say literally anything about it, rendering the discussion completely pointless! I mean, how do you know it won’t shit rainbows into your eyes?

All I’m saying is that this is just getting silly. Please people, let’s wait until Nintendo actually announces something.

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3 Comments on “Wii 2 3D HD Turbo coming in April?”

  1. Fatpie42 Says:

    It’s quite common to hear Nintendo give a project name for their console long before they release it.

    The N64 was originally known as the “Ultra 64” (Ultra seeming like the next step up from “Super”) and, of course, the numbers here were just to do with processing power, not model number.

    The Gamecube was originally called the “Dolphin” and many people continued to refer to it as such even when the new name was given, because it just sounded cooler.

    The Wii was, of course, originally known as the “Revolution”.

    Perhaps Nintendo will initially refer to their new project as “Wii 2”. While a new project name gets a lot of attention, the Wii has been such a phenomenon that “Wii 2” will probably give them the attention they need. Still, I’d be very surprised if that ended up being the REAL name of their next console.

    • GEL Says:

      The thing is they haven’t even been using THAT name! Although you do make a point that calling it a Wii 2 might drum up some interest, Nintendo has said basically nothing about one…well aside from “It’s not coming in 2011. We wanna sell at least 15 million more Wiis before we even think about it!”

  2. RegalSin Says:

    Well Gel, just don’t buy it, along with any other system and lets just sit in a invisible circle playing turbo graphics instead. Remember the Gameboy 3d?? We could have had it, but instead we got a bloody NDS. Do you want it to happen again??

    Remember that song

    Who cares, they messed up everything, and all the r-tard non-condom wearers with jobs is going to buy the thing for there off-spring who will become just like us in the future. rambling on and on about jizz shists system as if it anybody really cared at all.

    Like th saying goes ” look at you pa pa player, yourr soo pathetic” A simple organism….

    Oh did you see portal Amiga video?

    Nice creammy bukake….. ohh sooo eadable yummmy tummy all over heerrr prreegggiii facceeyyy



    Yeah games for girls… har har Narf… brew harg harg What will people think of next..

    Oh like if no girl did not watch the lemons

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