GameMetabble – The Last Clusterfuck

Another new DOA release, another cavalcade of problems:

This actually DID get me thinking after a friend gave me shit about it: Why DO I apologize so profusely for companies (see also: my Transformers: Cybertron Adventures review)? I think it’s because they’re made of so many people. I will tear an individual apart for being a shithead, but a company has multiple people. Some of these people are shitheads, some mean very well and it’s important to think about WHY something happens. Sometimes stuff is just out of their control and NDAs can be a bitch.

Yes I am a KoeiTecmo shill. You’re still not getting my $93…in one chunk anyway.


“WARNING (1/3): DOA5 Last Round (All platforms). Please DO NOT play Tutorial Mode Lesson 40.8 and 40.9 with German, Spanish, French, Italian. We confirmed that the game crashes & make us save data corrupted. (3/3): We can’t apologize enough for this and try to fix it ASAP. #DOA5LR (end.)” -Team Ninja Twitter

…right so I’ll just add that to the pile. Okay, seriously, do you guys even playtesters?

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4 Comments on “GameMetabble – The Last Clusterfuck”

  1. Baines Says:

    Makes me worry even more about how the PC version will fare, which already looked iffy back in December.

    I mean, first Koei Tecmo (in December) announced that it wouldn’t launch with online modes. Instead, those would be patched into the game within three months of release.

    Then at the end of January, it was announced that the PC version would be delayed for over a month (changing the release date from Feb 17 to March 30). And it *still* wouldn’t launch with online modes.

    Mind, Koei Tecmo released a PC version of Dynasty Warriors 8 that froze when loading on a 64 bit Windows 8.1 machine. (Mind, Asian regions appear to have issues bothering to make their games work on Windows 8 and 8.1 even after years of complaints. (Mind, it is a too common sentiment even in the West that “no one games on a Windows 8 machine”, to the point that such people act like it is the players’ faults for trying to run games under Windows 8.))

  2. RegalSin Says:

    64-bit was never an good idea. Have we not learned our lessons from the “N64” and the “Atari Jaguar”???? We do not nore have ever needed 64-bits to even view images over 4800dpi or even at high resolutions at all. In fact it makes me think back to when the Saturn had that beautiful greenish color that we have never seen since FF12 had that wet land.

    Windows 8.1 ha……Everything should be running on all NT6 platforms including Vista, Win7, and even XP3SP. Getting the latest release of Windows does not improve gameplay or hardware performance at all of anything at all. Including the fact or idea of it. I mean why

    OH I know because we are a bunch of slave consumers who are too stupid to protest or write to crapsoft about not wanting anything on the latest in spyware and anti-privacy. I just don’t know anymore with these abomination computers why?

    We are talking about downloads right? I mean why? Why even bother anymore for the sake of these games at all? Patch that, fix this and so forth.

    Why can’t we ( the game people ) just take an copy of DOA2. And mod the living daylights out of it? That is what people are doing to ElderScrolls? Why not our game itself and make something of grand that could run on all versions of Windows and even on to Windows 95.

    Why is it always just buy the next game. It will be greater then before. I mean I am up for advancements but at what cost of things.

  3. Göran Isacson Says:

    SO I’m just gonna start at the end there and say that I have unfortunately not checked out the rail shooter archive threads yet. Mea maxima culpa, but I wasn’t that big a rail-shooter fan AND I’ve been keeping myself busy by Majora-ing some Masks and basking in nostalgia, as well as going on the hunt for Resident Evil games, because I have sort of always wanted to play more of them than I have. Already managed to borrow Code Veronica X PS2 and the Wii version of Resi4, so I’m hoping that’ll be something I have fun with. But I will say this- I am glad I sat through that whole long video if only for the tasty goosebumps that not!Panzer Dragoon games music gave me. I do like it, I do. Kinda needed it after DOA5’s music not doing much for me- is DOA1’s music better, in your opinion? Also sudden Sephiroth theme! I will admit kind of shook me out of the daze all the talk of costumes was putting me in so kudos on that choice, as well as balancing it semi-well and introducing me to Drunkiroth and Kokoro Lockheart. I will never unsee that.

    And as far as this being the year of the point and click, that just may be the case. Heck, the guys making the spiritual successor to Clock Tower actually pulled off their Kickstarter at the last second and got a PC version funded! Might indeed be the year of point and click… also I didn’t hear that part about the tentacle hair, it’s Splatoon and female who?

    At any rate- DOA 5 stuff! I… can’t really say I’m THAT involved with all this because I still just have vanilla DOA 5 and I’m just letting it gather dust right now. But if I’m getting it right here- Tecmo Koei wants everyones stuff to be compatible with everything, to the point where even if you buy a DLC char in one version of the game, don’t matter if it’s the F2P, Ultimate, Vanilla or Last Round, you have it unlocked in other versions of the game (for same brand of systems, of course)? And the deluge of data from differently programmed games, not to mention all the possible costume DLC they’ve released, all trying to work together is coming crashing down around them? Not unlike a Babylon’s Tower of bikinis stacked atop each other, the more you have the bigger the likelihood it will topple over sooner or later?

    Welp… rough, I guess. I can’t really say I can muster much enthusiasm on the subject since I probably wouldn’t be buying the season pass or all those outfits anyway- like, the only costumes that really interests me in DOA are the Halloween outfits because I always prioritize a bit more imaginative outfits before stuff like bikinis and maid and butler outfits. If you say you’re good with the DLC well, I guess I’ll buy it because you’re a fan and if the fans are happy I guess they’re doing something right.

    So while it’s no skin off my back, it’s a pity that it’s all being such a mess for the fans who HAVE supported Tecmo with ever so many yeneurodollars. Kinda amused at how Sony owners seem to have pulled the longest straw though, if what you say is true and the PS3 version was the “port”. Kind of curious what a “patching limit” is, and what you mean by “three Microsoft architechtures”. Xbox 360, Xbox ONE and what more?

    What I AM kind of interested in, however, are the new characters. I understand that they’re mostly movesets from other chars mixed and mashed and patched up together, and while I’m not super-interested in those type of characters, I’m kinda curious how you think they work so far. Or her, if you’ve only played Honoka (which I wouldn’t even blame you for because RAIDOU, who even asked for that dude to come back). How many different movesets are mingled in there, and can you switch between them ala Shang Tsung? It doesn’t sound like a Mokujin or T.W.E.L.V.E deal where you just rip off someone elses move set whole sale.

  4. Baines Says:

    Oooh, I see the PC front is already more shitstormy than I’d figured.

    Complete silence about the PC version already had people worried. Then the news that new hairstyles would be PS4/Xbox One exclusives. Team Ninja acknowledging the lack of communication about the PC version, followed in the next sentence by saying that they couldn’t say anything.

    Koei’s PC release of DW8 Empires hasn’t helped, either. Like DW8 Complete, Empires is a PS3 port instead of a PS4 port. But priced $10 more than the PS3 version. Seen some arguments that it might be slightly worse than the PS3 version, because it is apparently missing some free DLC or something that the PS3 version got? And of course it has typical PC port issues as well.

    At this point, people are pretty much expecting Koei Tecmo to deliver PC versions that are nothing but buggy overpriced poorly-tested PS3 ports. And no one at Koei Tecmo is giving people any reason or reasonable assurance to believe otherwise.

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